I truly believe in the end of the year as a time to reflect.
I made a graph of my emotions and ups and downs with depression that I had this year, and I’m not sure how accurate it is. It was hard to make, especially when your realize what has happened in so little time. When you’re in a down it seems like it’s been going on for weeks, but I look back and it was only 1 week, or just a weekend, and the happy was longer than I thought.
I really encourage anyone who’s reading this to make one as well.
My general threshold is just me generally living. Neutrality. What I expect of myself and my moods. I struggled to define it as happiness or sadness or just operating, yet I feel that every person who has struggled with a case similar to mine will know what I mean by “general threshold.”
Of course, no matter which point I’m at on this graph, I am still depressed. But I also don’t want to say this exhibits moods. Maybe a better word is” phases” of my depression this year. There’s so many ups and downs, they are sharp, and some of them correlated with events, but others seem isolated. Those were the hardest parts. Drops, whether to happy or sad, are difficult. The curve is what we always want.
Do you want to know what really matters in this graph? The end. That last point. It’s a high point. I ended alright, I’m moving alright.
Two things I hope from this
- My threshold line goes up in the future.
- That this line is not an asymptote. An asymptote is a line that forever approaches another line, but will never touch it. I have a gut feeling my line will be approaching the for quite some time in the future, never really touching. I suppose it’s better than feeling like death, and maybe I’m ahead of myself, but hopefully one day, my line rises perpendicularly.
Without further ado, here it is: