A Weekend Update

Well, here I am, not quite sure where to proceed. Soon this semester will be over.

My therapist wants me to try something called Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) where I go to the hospital every night for treatment and individualized therapy over anywhere from a 4 week to a 12 week period. There is one here in my college city’s hospital and one in Indianapolis through the hospital my dad works with. I don’t know if I totally understand the program or not but I know I don’t know how I feel about it. I am sick and tired of therapy. I am sick and tired of drugs. I just want to go on living. If I freak out sometimes and I can’t get out of bed and I fail, so be it. With practice, maybe I’ll start doing it less and less. That’s all I need—practice doing life. When I’m in therapy I feel like I am learning about doing life or in some kind of off pull place—but as I mentioned once before I hate school. And I’ve been in it for so long. At this point I just want to practice. I want to practice life, and I have a lot of opportunities for it, so stop pulling me out, is what my insides are screaming.

But then again, I don’t really know what’s good for me, do I?

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.

-Rumi

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